Cultivating Self-Compassion
“Simplicity, patience, compassion.
These three are your greatest treasures.
Simple in actions and thoughts, you return to the source of being.
Patient with both friends and enemies,
you accord with the way things are.
Compassionate toward yourself,
you reconcile all beings in the world.”
― Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching
On the path of inner exploration one has opportunity to address both our personal psychology and our deeper spiritual nature. This can involve three principles; grounding, letting go and awakening the heart. Thus counteracting the obstacles of spiritual bypassing, ego-centric self involvement and numbing distractions. A really useful tool to connect with these principles would be the practice of meditation. Along with that, a method of self enquiry is helpful in addressing the unconscious patterns and emotional complexes that interfere with living more authentically, with roundedness, openness and heart.
Tantric Buddhism used the metaphor of the snake uncoiling to describe the process of awakening. The coils of our neurosis have raw, wild energy entangled in them. To uncoil these tangles, so that we do not remain ensnared does not require us to kill the snake or even sublimate its energy into more socially approved forms. Instead by simply allowing it to do what it naturally wants to do - unwind - we tap into its power and aliveness. What allows this coiled snake of the mind to unwind is awareness and gentle compassion. Compassion doesn't try to suppress the snake's wildness, but rather draws upon the energies entangled in it to propel us forwards on our path. Liberating the qualities of our being, proclaiming and celebrating them, using them to help ourselves and others is a never ending path and with great compassion we can tap into them.
The ego mind is a learned set of behaviours and programs and the ultimate goal in yoga is to move beyond them by virtue of the radiant Self. The presence of the Self may be experienced as compassion for all living beings, in all their expressions, including its evolution as one's personal self. As a consequence, condemnation can be replaced with compassion, which is a sign that it is now safe to proceed deeper into inner inventory without undue stress. I find it useful to remember that the world benefits from wisdom and not from hatred, blame or guilt, this doesn't deny their existence however encourages one to explore their own depths and shadow to seek integration and resolution.
"It’s okay to not forgive in certain situations. It doesn’t mean you are not spiritual. It doesn’t mean that you are unresolved. It doesn’t mean you will come back in the next lifetime having to live it through again. The assumption that forgiving the abuser is the benchmark of a completed emotional and karmic process is the mistake. It’s another way the New Cage movement insensitively vilifies the victim...
The real benchmark of experiential resolution is whether we have gone through our emotional process authentically and have arrived at a place where the negative charge around the experience has dissipated. Perhaps we learned some lesson, or perhaps we just feel liberated from the memories - the important thing is that we feel at peace again. Focusing on our responsibility to forgive a wrongdoer sidetracks the whole process. If it’s there, it’s there. If it’s not, it’s not. Just because you don’t choose to forgive doesn’t mean you haven’t let go yet. Maybe you just realise its not essential to your healing and not your responsibility." - Jeff Brown
Consider in your practice how you relate to yoga, whether you view yourself through your practice with equanimity and compassion and how you communicate internally as your body expresses itself through movement, breath and form. What is your conversation within if at all? When you fall off balance, do you sigh in condemnation? Or are you compassionate, accepting of where you are at and resolve to carry on and do better? The simple act of witnessing without judgement can be incredibly healing.
Self-honesty requires courage, humility, patience and compassion for the immature aspects of the conscience, which after all, arose originally as a product of childhood. Nurturing a sense of humour along the way may ensure that deep sincerity can be met with the lightness of heart.
Namaste
By Jessica Brookes
Yoga Teacher / Founder at The Shanti Space
Further reading:
Toward a Psychology of Awakening - John Welwood
Oneness With All Life - Eckhart Tolle
Practicing Peace in Times of War - Pema Chödrön
The Yoga Tradition - Georg Feuerstein